Parents: Reflection Versus Perception
What do you see when you look at your reflection? Chances are you see something different than others. Often we are hardest on ourselves; others see beauty whilst we focus on the small things that don’t quite fit right, that don’t look the way we want them or the way they used to.
My experience working with families
With fifteen years working with parents and carers I meet so many who also feel the same way, they focus on the small things that they don’t do as a parent or even the little things that their child isn’t doing whilst others see all that they are doing well. I hear parents saying repeatedly; perhaps it’s my fault I did something, so my child stringing enough words together or my child is;t settling into school well, etc.
Life is all about perception
The most crucial perception is ourselves and how we see ourselves as parents. The truth is there is no such thing as perfect parenting or perfect children. I often find when parents accept that it starts the beginning of a massive shift for them. Every child, parent and family are unique and so with that means that what works for one family will not work for another.
Parenting is a journey of discovery
It’s about discovering exactly who each of your children are, who you are a parent and how that fits into your family. It’s about celebrating the mountain tops and holding together through the valleys. Most importantly realising the valleys are a precious learning and growing as a family. You are learning more about their needs, learning more about yourself as a parent, and growing in character for your child and you as a parent.
This is your challenge
I challenge you to take some time today to focus on all the things you love about yourself firstly, and those little things that niggle you will start to dissolve, that image reflecting at you will start to resemble your real identity. Have a good long look at your eyes in the mirror and be kind to the person staring back. Start to speak powerful words over yourself becasue our words stick.
As a parent
When you worked on your image next focus onyour parenting, focus on all the things you are doing already. I guarantee you there will be lots of things you do well. Start with the basics because they all count. The basics like, food, water, shelter and safety. Build from there, little things matter and build up to bigger things. Then one child at a time if you have more than one and focus on everything they can do, feel the doubts fading, feel your perspective shift away from the small things that are not there yet and fosuc on what is.
The image we were created for
When we see ourselves in the image in which we were created both for ourselves and as parents, our perspective will shift not only ourselves but also our parenting and relationships with others and, most importantly, our relationships with our children.
Love binds families together, but we must start loving ourselves fully for that to flow throughout our family through our children and into the world.
Founder WayMaker Child Therapy & Play Therapist